6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
