So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize