I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
