normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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