Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think my moral compass just broke
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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