its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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