Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
