she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
