I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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