Sry I called you an 8
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
