Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
