they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
