How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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