No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
