And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
