i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize