I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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