she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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