it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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