God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
