What a fucking waste of an outfit
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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