You just made me feel so damn special
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
