I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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