I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
