i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
