But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
