I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize