I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
