I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
