Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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