I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
