she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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