More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
