she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
