there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
