you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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