i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
