I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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