hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
