there's paper in my vomit.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I understand Curling. That high.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
