your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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