Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
