and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
