Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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