Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
