have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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