YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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