i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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