No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
