I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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