You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
