I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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