So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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