who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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