Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
