College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
