he puts the penis in happiness.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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