I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
